FORT HOOD, Texas — Army 1st Lt. Gina Caffey, 1st lady selected to go to the Maneuver Captain’s profession course in Fort Benning, Ga., is simple times away from becoming broken whenever she discovers the tragic decreased ponies the present day Cavalry department proposes to its female officials, sources say.
“I intend to identify mine ‘Death Sparkle, '” said Caffey, losing a bottle of Mane ‘n’ Tail into the woman rucksack next to the 12 sets of clothes needed regarding packaging list.
Caffey, a Kentucky native, petitioned the woman chain of command to rebranch from AG, mentioning her youth invested at Heartland stables understanding how to ride western. She stays totally and entirely, and of course blissfully, unaware that the present day cavalry has hardly any ponies except for seven tiny, ceremonial detachments, no ponies at all.
“It’s really odd that this packing number needs a kevlar helmet rather than a suitable biking one, ” said Caffey. “Maybe once we have our sweet-ass Stetsons we’ll only wear those.”
Soldiers into the cavalry must buy their particular wide-brimmed hats, and are maybe not made by Stetson.
Caffey included, “I can’t wait to check out the tack location at supply.”
“The choice allowing women in the cavalry ended up being forced upon us, ” said Maj. Gen. Michael A. Bills, 1st Cavalry Division Commander. “We’ll support the decision to maneuver ladies into combat functions, but only if they may be able drive their particular tanks side saddle.”
Though most have lauded the decision to allow feamales in the cavalry, some state your choice is too little too late.